Helping Autistic Kids with Losing: Strategies for Building Emotional Resilience
Does your autistic child struggle with losing? Losing can be tough for any kid, but for children on the autism spectrum, it can feel especially overwhelming. Difficulty with emotional regulation may cause big feelings to surface when a game doesn’t go their way. This can lead to social challenges, such as other kids avoiding play or anxiety around fun activities. Here are some practical strategies to help your child navigate the concept of losing while fostering emotional resilience:
1. Identify Why Losing is Difficult
For many children on the autism spectrum, losing can be hard because they may feel deprived of the attention and praise the winner receives. This lack of recognition can lead to frustration and even meltdowns. To counteract this, make sure to give your child ample praise when they remain calm, even when they don’t win. Acknowledge their effort and let them know how proud you are of their self-control and participation.
2. Teach Replacement Language
Children on the spectrum might struggle with expressing themselves when they lose. Offering them replacement language can help. Simple phrases like “Good game” or “Maybe next time” are useful alternatives to expressions of frustration. Praise your child when they use these phrases, reinforcing positive communication over negative behavior.
3. Prepare in Advance
Before starting a game or activity, talk about the possibility of losing and how it might make them feel. Preparing your child beforehand helps reduce anxiety and gives them a chance to mentally rehearse how to respond. Practice calm reactions and provide positive reinforcement during this pre-game discussion.
4. Practice Losing in Low-Stakes Situations
Create opportunities for your child to experience losing in quick, low-pressure settings. Games like “pick a number” or short races are excellent for building tolerance to losing. Playing multiple rounds in a row gives your child more opportunities to practice staying calm and using appropriate language, making the experience of losing less overwhelming over time.
By using these strategies, you can help your child on the autism spectrum develop healthier emotional responses to losing, fostering resilience and improving their social interaction
If you have concerns that your child has autism, contact your primary care physician. If you are looking for Applied Behavior Therapy, complete the Epicenter ABA Therapy intake form.
